A quick thought...

I don't remember if I've touched on this before, but where does the path to Heaven lie? In our faith or in our deeds? If we believe that it is in our faith, then what does it matter what we do in life? If it is in our deeds, then what outweighs what? Will Ken Lay, who was convicted of fraud, get a place in Heaven because he gave money to charity?

Or, is it in God's forgiveness and only in his forgiveness? If we say -- and sincerely mean -- "Hey, God, please forgive me for my sins" on our death bed -- will we be standing at the right hand of Jesus or cast aside as a goat?

Maybe, there's no answer and we must each find our own path.

Oh, one last thing, I'm opening up this blog to other like-minded writers, please send me an email if you are interested.

Blessings!

I wish I had taken notes...

So, in Mass yesterday, we read part of the story of Amos. Amos was a shepherd and a gardener, but God told him to take off, go to another country and start telling them like it is. So, Amos took off and did just that, but the King didn't want to hear what Amos had to say. He wanted to hear that everything was great. His prophets only told him that God was with him. It's what he wanted to hear -- sound familiar?

So, Father Brian (our new priest) gave an excellent homily about how different things are and how you hear God calling you to your tasks, etc. I wish I had taken notes because it was really good.

But, the one thing I took away, that really stuck with me, was when Father Brian said that God was going to punish the country in the story because while the country was living in very plentiful times, they forgot about the poor -- the widows and orphans, etc.

And, it got me thinking.

Pat Robertson once said that the hurricanes were sent upon us because we protect gays and lesbians in this country. I'm sure numerous members of his following believe him, but God doesn't punish for sex -- not historically -- He punishes because of the way we treat each other and our lack of generosity. Now, I don't know if natural disasters are harming our country and the world because God is punishing us, but if he is, it's got to be because we have left the poor behind.

We allow our government to cut the spending on healthcare and schools, but allow it to grant tax breaks to the oil companies. Is this a Christian or even a Godly way to do things?

No, it is not.

Maybe the unrest in the middle east, the fires in California and the hurricanes are God's punishment, not because of some protections people think gays have, but because of the lack of reaching out to others we are showing in this country.

God Bless

Where will you be?

I wrote this song called Where will you be. I just recently purchased a music creating software so I can finally try my hand at recording it. Please feel free to take a listen and tell me what you think!

God Bless

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Self Doubt and Confusion

Ever felt confused? Ever wonder just what it is that God has planned for you? I know that I should trust in God and let go of fears and worries. Let Go and Let God. Not a bad way to live.

But, Cheryl and I have been trying for a baby for more than two years. We tried at home inseminations with known donors four times -- no luck. We have tried three AIs with one clinic, no luck, but I'm happy we've switched clinics. We're now on our second try with our new clinic and while I'm happy there, I'm sitting here wondering if I'm pregnant or not.

Then, I think, what if God doesn't want me to be a mom? What if he has some other plan for me and we're just wasting thousands of dollars trying? How do I know? Do I keep plowing ahead and use up all of the tries my work insurance offers or do I give up now?

I can't imagine going through life and not being a mom. I'm a stepmom, but it really isn't the same. My stepchildren are grown and, apparently, stepmothers don't count for much of anything in this society. Maybe, it's different for stepmoms who were in the children's lives when they were little guys, but coming in as teenagers -- it don't mean a thing.

So, I asked God this past Sunday to send me a sign. I know that if we give up on a biological child, I will never be a mom. Cheryl is not for us adopting at all, plus the added expenses with adoption are really something we can't afford. (Yeah, I've heard all the talk about if you can't afford the adoption, how can you afford the child? But, it's different. A child's added costs are overtime. Adoption fees are pretty much up front.) Plus, is the state of Wisconsin really going to grant us a child given that there are so many straight married couples out there.

Add to all of this the wonder of just what the heck am I doing with my life? I'm 38 and I still haven't figured out what I want to do from now until death.

I have total faith in God, but somedays, I just wish he could grant me a sign.

Anyone else feeling this way?

Blessings.